


Time is the key

by Aelin_Winchester



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Coming Out, F/M, Group Therapy, Happy Ending, Healing, Hogwarts Eighth Year, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mind Healer, Past Child Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Burn, Switching, Therapy, tags are not necessarily in the correct order, taking care of each other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:08:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25220662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aelin_Winchester/pseuds/Aelin_Winchester
Summary: The war ended and Harry is not alright.Together with Hermione he returns to Hogwarts to finish his eighth year. But the war changed Harry and he is struggling not to crack under the pressure the wizarding world has put on him. Harry begins to understand that he won't ever be the same again, but with understanding coming from an unexpected side he slowly realizes that maybe this is not a bad thing.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work on ao3 and english is not my first language so please bear with me. If there are grammatical mistakes or misspellings, please let me know.  
> Thanks for giving this a shot I hope you enjoy it

Even though Harry knows that he shouldn’t be that surprised, it still stings when instead of his fully corporal stag only grayish smoke emerges from his wand. “Expecto Partonum”, he shouts again but the result stays the same. He is standing in the little garden that borders on Grimmauld Place and the opaque hedges that surround it give him privacy from prying eyes. Frustrated Harry pockets his wand and leaves the garden to make himself some tea in the kitchen. He's been having problems with his Patronus ever since the battle at Hogwarts ended. Maybe even before that, but this was when he first noticed. The peaceful and happy state of mind he used to be able to easily access when conjuring a Patronus seemed to be blocked.

Standing in the kitchen Harry feels almost deafened by the silence in the house. After the war Hermione Ron and him moved into Grimmauld Place together. But Ron and Hermione moved out last month to a lovely little flat near Daigon Alley where Ron worked with George in the Joke Shop. Harry had been happy for them of course but he would be lying if he said that he didn’t miss them here. The house just felt to big now, to silent.

He tried living with Ginny in the rebuild Burrow, but the love and affection there almost suffocated him. The guilt he still feels for the death of Fred and all the others who died for him made him feel undeserving of the warmth he was given there, so he moved back to Grimmauld Place. The hurt on Mrs. Weasleys face when he came up with weak excuses just made him feel all the guiltier. Ginny told him she understood but he could tell that she just wanted to make him feel better.

Harry snaps out of his mumbling reflections when the fire in the chimney burst into green flames and a letter comes flying out. He snatches it out of the air and immediately recognizes the seal and the green ink. It’s a letter from Hogwarts.

_Dear Mr. Potter,_

_We are pleased to inform you that we can welcome you back to Hogwarts for your eighth year. Students have the choice to either return to Hogwarts for the whole year, or to choose to only appear for the examination at the end of the school year._

_We are awe that there are many special circumstances to consider this year. If you have any concerns, please contact us promptly._

_Term begins on 1 September. We await your owl by no later than 31 July._

_Yours sincerely_

_Minerva McGonagall_

_Headmistress_

Sighing Harry folds the letter and puts it on the kitchen table. Thoughts are swirling in his mind. Going back to Hogwarts had always meant going home to Harry. But after everything that happened he is not sure if he could stomach it to go back. But at the same time the thought of not going back hurt

Only seconds after Harry put the letter down on the kitchen table, the fire once again bursts into green flames and yet another letter comes flying at him. This time it is from Hermione. She is informing him that while Ron decided to keep working in the Joke Shop with George, she will return to Hogwarts. She also wants to know what Harry has decided on. Her P.S that her and Ron miss him and would love to see him sometimes makes Harry’s heart feel heavy. It’s true that he has been avoiding them. But lately he just couldn’t gather the energy to put on a brave face and go out with his two best friends. To be completely honest, he is failing to bring up the energy to do anything at all lately. He puts Hermione’s letter next to the one from Professor McGonagall, grabs his tea and leaves the kitchen without answering either of them.

Half an hour later there is a knock on Harrys bedroom door. A second later Hermione enters the room and looks disapprovingly at Harry who is lying fully dressed under his blanket. “You could’ve answered me, you know”, she says and pulls the blanket off of him. Guiltily Harry sits up. “I know. I meant to but I just didn’t know what to say. I don’t know if I want to go back. I love Hogwarts but I just don’t know if I’ll even be able to be there without having flashbacks about the war.” With a deep sigh, Hermione sits down next to him. “I thought so too”, she admits “but to me it feels like I would let them win by not going back. I survived. And I am proud of that. I cannot allow them to take this away from me.”

This is how on 31th of August Hermione and Harry stand with their bags packed on Platform 9 ¾ waiting for the train to Hogwarts.


	2. Chapter 2

Harry is sitting with his head against the window in a wagon with Hermione, Neville, Luna and Ginny. His stomach is in turmoil’s and he clutches his hand that is interlaced with Ginny’s. Hermione has put a Muffliato over their wagon and another charm that makes bypassing students uninterested in who is in there. Harry is extremely thankful for that. The looks and stares on King Cross Station almost made him turn around and go back to Grimmauld Place. He can’t even imagine how much worse it was going to be when he was finally back at Hogwarts. 

“Harry! Hey”, Hermione says and rips him out of his thoughts. 

“Sorry what did you say?”, Harry asks and blushes a little. “I asked if you know anything about Malfoy? Is he coming back as well?” “Oh em yeah, it’s part of his probation. Not in jail but under supervision in a controlled environment”, he answers. 

Harry last saw Malfoy when he spoke at his trail. Harry had spoken for him and his mother. He argued the point that Malfoy didn’t really have a choice in bringing the Death eaters to Hogwarts and that he never actively participated in the torture of other Hogwarts Student under the regime of the Carrows. He stated that Mrs. Malfoy had saved his live and thereby helped to bring an early end to the war. He had however not spoken for Lucuis Malfoy. His cruelty before and during the war, had just been too much. He hadn’t felt bad when he was sentenced for 15 years of Askaban. Narcissa Malfoy was sentenced to House arrest for 2 years. Since Draco Malfoy had been a minor when letting the Death eaters into Hogwarts he was charged as one as well.

“Hm. I guessed he got off easy then”, scoffed Neville. Harry shrugged. 

Ginny had asked him why he felt the need to appear at Malfoys trail, but he couldn’t really tell her. He just felt that enough lives had been destroyed because of the war. As much as he disliked Malfoy, he deserved a second chance. Ginny had nodded but he knew she dissagread with him on this.

*~*~*~*

Half an hour later they arrive in Hogsmeade. As every year the first years were picked up by Hagrid. It was a bigger group than normal, because a lot of muggleborn students weren’t able to attend in the prior year. The group passes them and they give a lazy wave to Hagrid who was leading the students to the boats. Harry and the others make their way to the carriages. When Harry hears the whispers coming from the other student he initially thinks it’s because they spotted him. It takes him a little longer to understand that they are talking about the Thestrals. Of course, he thinks. They can see them now too. With that depressing thought he climbs into the next carriage and they get pulled towards the castle.

When they come up to the great hall, they spot a large note that is fastened to the door.

“Eighth years are advised to take a seat at the large table on the left side of the hall, next to the Gryffindors. Further information follows later”

“All eight years?”, Harry hears Neville wonder behind him. “Appears so”, answers Hermione and points into the hall, where they can see Daphne Greengrass sitting on said table, talking to Seamus and Hannah Abott. “All right then”, says Ginny and gives Harry a short peck on the lips. “I guess I’ll see you later in the Common Room.” And with that she and Luna take off to take a seat at their house table. Hermione and Neville start walking and Harry hurries behind them. They take a seat opposite of Seamus and fall into small talk. It’s a little stilted but after a few minutes everyone relaxes. That is until Daphne suddenly stands up and waves at someone behind Harry. “Hey, Draco! You can sit here!” When Draco walks into Harry’s view, he has to swallow. When he thought Draco looked unhealthy in their sixth year, it was still better that how he looked now. He looked like he hadn’t slept in days and he was unhealthily thin. His normally neat clothing looked worn down and when he sits down, he doesn’t meet any of their eyes.  
The following silence is awkward but soon interrupted by Professor McGonagall.

“Welcome Students! I speak for all teachers when I say that we are incredibly glad to be able to welcome you back here at Hogwarts”, she begins. “There are a few important announcements to make. But before we come to that, we must welcome our newest additions to Hogwarts. Let the sorting begin.”  
With that the grand doors open and the first years, led by Professor Sprout, enter the hall.  
The sorting begins and Harry lets his eyes wander around the hall. Nothing so much as hints at that this is the place where Voldemort died not even six months ago.  
The sorting ends with “Zagata, Helen – Ravenclaw”  
After the clapping stops Professor McGonagall steps up to the Podium again.  
“We all lost a lot in the last year. Classmates, Friends and Family. To experience something like this, is always a horrible thing. We know that coming back here must have been extremely difficult for some. I know it was for me. The trauma that some of you experienced in the last year is not to be taken lightly. We ask you to be mindful with each other and remind you that every person deals differently with these kind of things. Please respect that. If you have any concerns please talk to a teacher you trust. The teachers and I also decided on adding an experienced mind healer from St. Mungos to our staff. Everyone is free to meet with her but no one is pressured into doing so. There will be group sessions and personal ones.  
You probably also noticed that our eighth years do not sit at their usual house table. We thought it best to put them into a new group of their own.”  
At this she casts a glance to their table.   
“Since you won’t have a head of house, this role will be filled by our new “Defense against the dark arts teacher” Professor Naledi Katlego. She will lead you to your new common room after dinner”  
A tall and rather young looking black woman sitting next to Hagrid stands up and gives a wave into the hall.  
“I thank you for your attention”, ends McGonagall her speech. “We can now eat”

The tables fill themselves with food but it takes a beat longer till the usual chatter brakes out again.  
“In a new group?” asks Seamus stunned. “What a stupid idea.”   
A heated debate brakes out whether this decision is a good one or not. Neville surprises everyone when he sides with McGonagall. “It send a message you know?” He says. “About House Unity. If we can pull ourselves together it might prevent unnecessary disputes. She probably expects us to act as role models.”

“You know”, says Hermione to Harry later “I think getting a mind healer on the staff was a good decision.” Harry just shrugs. He never liked talking about his problems. It’s hard enough with friends. But with a complete stranger? He doesn’t think he could do it. Malfoy seems to agree because Harry can see him rolling his eyes at Hermione. This in turn makes Harry annoyed. He planned on being polite to Draco this year but this certainly doesn’t mean that he has to like him. “Yeah your right Hermione”, he blurts out “I think I am gonna go to one of those group sessions McGonagall talked about myself.”  
Why the bloody hell did he just say that. Just to spite Malfoy? Ones again his mouth has gotten the better of him. But now he can’t take it back anymore. Hermione literally beams at him with pride. Harry wishes the floor would just open up beneath him. He can feel his face burning and he finishes the rest of his meal in silence.

After everyone is finished eating they leave the hall to meet with Professor Katlego. 

The Professor looks even younger up close. There was no way that she was even a day older than 25. She is wearing a plain dress with a nice pattern on it. 

“Hello eighth years.”, she greats them. She has a strong accent, that Harry can place as south African. “As Headmistress McGonagall already told you my name is Naledi Katlego. Since you no longer belong to your old houses you also no longer have a head of house. I will be filling this position for you. While you are of course welcome to turn to any teacher you trust I ask you to come to me if it concerns an issue with your fellow classmates.  
I’ll now lead you to your new common room so please follow me.”

As they follow Katlego through the castle Harry sticks close to Hermione. It hasn’t escaped his notice that there are significantly less students in his year than there used to be. Shame curls in his stomach when he realizes that he cannot remember all of those that they’ve lost.

When they pass other students he can hear them whispering and pointing at him and Hermione. He lowers his head and pretends not to hear them.

“It’s rude to point with your fingers you know?” Harry whips his head around as he hears the snarling voice of Malfoy behind him. Had he just defended Harry and Hermione? Hermione meets Harry’s gaze with raised eyebrows. He shrugs and pulls at her elbow to keep up with the other students. Weirder things have happened he figures.

They eventually arrive on the third floor of the castle and Hermione and Harry give each other meaningful glances when they arrive at the door that once led them to their very first adventure together. It feels like some kind of full circle moment to Harry and Hermione whispers exactly that to Harry when they all come to a stop in front of the door.

“This door leads to your new common room”, Prof. Katlego explains. “You will not need a password. The door will react when you touch it with your wand. Please tap it lightly against it when you enter after me.”

She goes ahead and the students follow her. Each of them taps their wand against the door before entering. 

Harry doesn’t know exactly what he was expecting when entering the room but a light streamed and homey feeling common room wasn’t it. The floor is almost all covered by a large dark purple carpet. Big windows on the opposite wall of the door look out over the lake and the forest and flank a fireplace that’s in the middle of the wall. On both the left and the right hand wall of the room staircases lead to a lower level. Signs above the staircases label them “Men’s dormitories” and “Women’s dormitories”. There are tables for studying and couches as well as armchairs in front of the fire place. There are no predominant house colors but more like a purple theme decorated with little specks of colors. A bookshelf that Harry can see over stands behind the couches and divides the room.

Prof. Katlego takes a step forward and they automatically form a half circle around her. 

“As you can see, the stairs to my left lead to the women’s dormitories and the stairs to my right to the men’s. Please keep them separated we do not need any baby drama on top of the usual.” Quiet and slightly embarrassed laughter follows her statement. “If for any reason you cannot control your urges please visit Madam Pomfrey and ask her for protection charms and or potions.” She sighs when she sees the awkwardness on their faces. “Guys if you cannot talk about it you shouldn’t be doing it. Now on to some other important issues. Some of you might have already come to the realization that one of the reasons why you were thrown together, is to represent house unity. Since we actually want you to interact, we have come up with a roommate-plan. I’ll be reading it now. And please take it like the grownups that you are.  
I’ll start with the men’s roommate-plan. The first room will be Neville Longbottom, Micheal Corner and Wayne Hopkins. Second room will be Dean Thomas, Terry Boot and Zacharias Smith. The third room will be shared by Seamus Finnigan, Kevin Entwhistle and Theodore Nott. This is followed by the fourth room with Stephen Cornfoot and Draco Malfoy. And last but not least the fifth room with Harry Potter and Blaise Zabini.”

Harry sighs. It could’ve been worse. He could’ve been paired with Malfoy. But still. Sharing with Zabini does not sound like fun. Hermione grabs his Elbow and squeezes it reassuringly. He gives her a small smile he hopes looks more convincing than he feels. 

“Now to the girls”, Katlego proceeds “Room number one will be Hermione Granger, Padma Patil and Daphne Greengrass. The second room will be Eloise Midgen, Mandy Brocklehurst and Hannah Abbott. The third room is for Su Li, Megan Jones ans Millicent Bullstrode. And finally the last room will be Lisa Turpin, Morag Macdougal and Tracey Davi.  
That would be all. You are now dismissed. If you have any follow up questions you can find me in my office.” With that the Professor leaves them alone.

The students around them begin to explore the common room and Hermione and Harry step closer to the wall to speak in private.

“Well this is not how I saw this day going”, Harry says and rubs his hand across his face. He just feels so incredibly tired already.  
“Me neither”, Hermione agrees “But it doesn’t have to be a bad thing you know. Sometimes a little change is good.” Harry shrugs. Maybe Hermione is right but right now he lacks the necessary enthusiasm to agree. “I think I’m going to set up my room and say hello to my new roommates. I also promised Ron that I’d write him when I’m here”, she says and excuses herself. 

Harry decides to sit with Neville and Seamus for a while but since he really is tired and some of his classmates have gone downstairs as well he decided to go to bed.

When he enters his room he freezes for a second because he didn’t expect Zabini to be there already. He is talking to Malfoy and when Harry cleared his throat to signalize that he’s here Malfoy flinches and quickly excuses himself. Zabini gives him an annoyed look but otherwise doesn’t acknowledge that Harry is there. This is just fine for Harry and he silently gets ready for bed.

He doesn’t sleep well that night. But this comes as no surprise since his dreams have been plagued be nightmares for a long time now. He dreams of dying and cupboards and cold dark places. Occasionally the face of a lost loved one makes an appearance. Two rooms down from his Malfoy dreams of fires and Voldemort torturing his parents.   
On the other side of the wall Hermione is up and reading because when she falls asleep she sees the dead bodies of Ron and Harry.

No one gets a lot of sleep that first night back at Hogwarts.


End file.
